Your success begins here

Part 1 describes Milo and how he came to live with us, so I will not repeat that.

Milo likes to get up early in the morning. For the past week or two, he has decided 3:30 AM is a good time to rise. I disagree, but it’s a matter of opinion.

Milo likes to come into the bedroom, stand next to the bed, and claw the mattress right next to my head. If that doesn’t wake me, he starts knocking things off the night stand and clawing the curtains.

Now, I keep a water bottle next to the bed so I can spray him when he starts doing this. After a couple of good spritzes, he runs away. Then Milo waits for me to almost fall asleep before returning and starting the process all over. In the end, I get up and feed him or toss him out of the house…which was what he wanted all along.

The point is, be tenacious. If you just keep picking at things and asking, eventually you will wear down the rock that stands in your way and get what you want. Children know this. It’s why they throw tantrums in the grocery store until mama purchases that candy bar.

Let’s say you know me and know I never lie. Everything I say happens. Now, if I told you, “If you give me $1,000 today, I will make it into $10,000,000 in 2261.” Would you do it? Why not?

Now, what if I said, “Give me $1,000 today and I will give you $1,000,000 tomorrow.” Would you do it? Why?

In the first example, even though the money will become a million dollars, you’ll never be able to use it. There is no reward for you. However, in the second example, you will have a virtually instant payoff.

This is one of the biggest keys to motivation, whether you are trying to motivate yourself or others. If people do not see the payoff or cannot accept the payoff, they have absolutely no reason to be motivated to action.

So, here are some things to remember:

1. Have rewards. If you are motivating yourself, give yourself a reason to accomplish your goal. Let’s say, for example, you want to lose weight. You’ll have to diet and exercise. Give yourself one day a week when you can eat whatever you want if you did well the other six days. Not only does this create short term (weekly) goals for you, but it also gives you something to look forward to. You will be able to see, touch, smell, and taste your reward every Saturday (or whatever day you choose).

2. Set Milestones. This goes along with number 1. If you need motivation for a large task, make sure there are waypoints. Returning to our weight loss example, if you want to lose 36 pounds in one year, you must lose three pounds per month. Now, every Saturday you have something to look forward to and every weigh-day (the same each month) you can check your progress. Give yourself a non-food prize. Perhaps you want a smaller sweater or want a new painting for the living room. Promise yourself you will not get these things unless you achieve your milestone goals.

3. Get Buy in. While the other two are important, this one is probably the most important–especially when motivating others. Let’s change examples for a moment and say you are a sales manager and want your new salesperson to hit quota. You promise to take him to the new Chinese restaurant if he succeeds. That’s great, but what if he hates Chinese food? In order to motivate others, you must give them something they want. They must have a reason for accomplishing the task. If you can give them something they want that they cannot get themselves, that’s even better. For example, you have an out-of-print book he has been looking for. This principle applies to you as well. They rewards you promise yourself must be worth the investment and come in a timely fashion. Returning to the diet example: if you refuse to go to the grocery store until Saturday and refuse to have junk food in your house, then you can shop on Saturday and reward yourself. In short–rewards are not rewards without buy in.

4. Be timely with the rewards. I used to work for a company that sometimes had some great incentive programs. The only problem was, by the time they got around to passing out the bonuses, people had forgotten about them and why they received them. After a while, many people stopped caring about the contests and such because they knew it would be a while before they ever received their prize. This was intensely magnified at another company where the rewards were small trophies and in-house printed “awards.” No one cared. Sure, management thought they were great, but the salespeople often complained, “Why am I going to bust my tail to get a piece of paper five months from now?”

Becoming and staying motivated is only as hard as you make it. Motivating others is a little more difficult because it requires you to find out what types of things the person desires. People are often motivated by money (material goods), recognition, or autonomy. If you must motivate a large group of others, have a grand prize that covers all the bases. For example, a monthly contest where the winner is presented with a certificate that grants him/her an afternoon off and a $25 gift certificate to their favorite restaurant. Then you can have a couple of smaller prizes in each of the areas so everyone has something to get excited about.

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“There is one quality that one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it.”

- Napoleon Hill

And Victor Hugo said, “There is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come.”

These two powerful quotes speak volumes in their simplicity, escpecially when tied together.

When an idea’s time has come, there is always someone behind it with singularity of purpose. When you are ready for success, you must have focus and diligently pursue it.

On Father’s day, one of our cats went out and never came home. He was relatively young — only about 11 or 12, but we had him from the day he was born. (His mama still lives with us). Anyway, about a month ago, my wife went to Atlanta for work. As she was coming home, she called to tell me she had a surprise for me. Yes, I was very surprised when she brought an 8-week old kitten with her.

We named him Milo.

In the month that we have had him, I’ve already noticed and learned some things from him. I would like to share them with you over the course of some time.

But here is the first lesson.

When Milo came to live with us, he weighed 2.8 pounds. Besides the other cat, we also have an 80-something pound shapherd pitbull mix. Naturally, the dog wanted to sniff Milo. After a big hiss and arch of his back, Milo would run. The curious thing was, he’d wait until he saw the dog sleeping then walk up to him and attack.

Now, weighing about 6 pounds, Milo no longer runs from the dog. He walks up, smacks him on the face,  bites his tail if he’s sleeping, and attacks his feet when he walks by.

Lesson #1 is be fearless. Size doesn’t matter. If you know what you want, tackle it. If you can’t whip that problem outright, then attack it from different angles until you find when your advantage. No matter how large the  problem, there is always an advantageous angle f attack for you.

Milo doesn’t just attack the dog. He will attack anything. He takes the dog’s toys from him, dragging away stuffed animals that are larger than he is. For example, the dog has a stuffed duck. Milo will jump on that duck (which is bigger than he), wrap all four legs around it, and roll with it. He likes to dive out of the dining room chairs at my feet as I walk by, attacking my calves and ankles.

Nothing is too big to attack when you don’t focus on how small you are. Forget your size. It doesn’t matter. If you are fearless, you can tackle any problem.

I’ve been on top of the world. I’ve also been under it. Or at least felt like its full weight was crushing down on me. What I’ve learned from those experiences is this:

It’s a lot easier to stay positive when you’re standing on the pinnacle of your world, but it requires little faith.

Faith in God and faith in yourself is never tested when you’re high on the mountain. You may be thankful or grateful, but you’re “faith” only extends as far as confidence (or hope) you will not fall.

It isn’t until we feel the world on our shoulders that we are actually blessed with the opportunity of putting faith into action. When times are the hardest is when we discover true faith, because those are the moments that require we believe in something we may not see or feel. The Bible put it this way in hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

Faith (whether in God or ourselves) demands that we are just as appreciative in the bad times as the good. It is with faith that we can remain confident and stay positive, because we know that things will get better. We may not see it yet, but we can believe it.

Here are some things you can do to help yourself stay positive:

• Pray. I realize not everyone who reads this believes in God, but for those who do, there is nothing more uplifting than prayer and Bible reading
• Positive affirmations: When you wake up, tell yourself with as much zeal as if you just won the lottery, “Today is a great day!” Look yourself in the mirror and repeat it a couple of times. Make sure you smile as you do.
• Go online or pull out some books and read positive quotes and stories. The libraries and internet are full of stories of underdogs who conquered the most adverse of conditions. The one thing they all have in common is they knew they would overcome. You, too, will overcome your situation.
• Force yourself to smile
• Refuse to speak or listen to anything negative – every time you hear or say something negative, immediately replace it with three positive thoughts
• Count your blessings…again and again. You may not think you have any, but every morning you wake up is a blessing in itself; do you have someone special in your life? Family still alive? A pet? A job? Can you see? Hear? Speak? Do you have a car? There are many things for which we should be thankful every day, but we take for granted

Motivation isn’t something that just pops out of the ether and remains eternally. Yes, you might find yourself suddenly inspired or motivated to do something, but if you are careless, you can easily lose your motivation. You might rush headlong into your goal like a comet and burn out quickly, or you might take the slow and steady approach like driving from New York to LA. But if you don’t stop to refill your gas tank, you’ll never make it.

There are several things you can do to keep fuel in your tank to make sure you arrive at your destination.

• Each morning when you wake up, picture yourself when you achieve your goal. Let’s say your goal is to pay off your mortgage within five years. Picture yourself writing out that last check. How does it feel? Can you see the smile on your face? Can you feel the burden of a mortgage lifted from your shoulders? Just think, with the house paid off, even if hard times come, you know you’ll have a place to live. Think of all the extra money you’ll be able to save or the additional things you can do when you aren’t sending off $1,000 or $3,000 to the finance company every month…just to cover interest.
• After you visualize and experience the joy of your final success, ask yourself, “What must I do today to take a step or two or five in that direction?” When you have your answer, go through the same exercise, picturing yourself at the end of that day, having successfully completed all you needed to do to keep you on the path.
• Find blogs, websites, and other success-minded people. Even if it’s only one or two motivational quotes, make sure you put some encouraging words in your head every single day.
• Make little notes with positive messages for yourself. Carry one in your pocket with you so every time you reach in, you have a physical reminder. Tape one to your bathroom mirror, stick one to your refrigerator, put one on the dashboard of your car just below the speedometer, and tack some up around your work space. You get the point. Promise yourself that every time you see the card, you will read it.  Below, you will see a set of cards that are available from Zazzle. These are 1″x3″ and simple. What I like about these (yes, I drew made them) is that the eagle serves as a constant reminder that if we spread our wings, we can soar to the loftiest heights.

I will succeed by livesuccess

Why am I unmotivated? People ask themselves this question all the time. Of course, they may phrase it a little differently, such as “How do I become motivated?” or “How do I get motivated?” But the underlying statement is the same. You are unmotivated.

From my experience, I have seen only a couple of reasons why people lack motivation.

1.  They have no clear goals. Without goals, it is impossible to be motivated. Motivation requires you know where you’re heading. It would be a bit like hopping in a car, cranking the engine, and idling or even revving the engine while the car remains in park. The car doesn’t move and neither do people. Now, some may argue and say they can drive without knowing where they’re going. And while this is true, it is also true that they are making a conscious decision and effort to back the car out of the drive (a goal) and then head down the road (a goal) and then turn (another goal). You get the picture. If your car is moving, you have short-term goals and some motivation.

2. They don’t think they can change anything. As Thoreau once said, many people lead lives of quiet desperation. That is, they want something different, but do not think they can have it. I know many people with this type of defeatist attitude. Sometimes they openly state it, other times they quietly skirt about the issue, paraphrasing it, but the underlying thought process is the same: “What’s the use in trying?” Many times, they add some sort of self-pitying qualifier to it. For example: “What’s the use in trying for that job? I’m not very good at interviews.”

3. They are comfortable where they are. This is probably the worst thing that can happen. Because it means two things: A) they have no goals and B) they have no desire to set goals. But there are remedies for this as well.

So, if you are unmotivated and ready to change your life for the better, let’s get started. The first thing to do is determine which type of person you are. You may fall into more than one category.

Setting Goals

Setting goals is easier than many people think. It is also harder than people think. In order for something to be a goal, it must have at least two pieces to it.

• A time frame
• A measurable result

That’s the bare minimum. Look at the following three examples. They first two are not goals:

1. I will be rich by January 1, 2015
2. I will have $40,000 in the bank
3. By January 15, 2015, I will have $40,000 in the bank

Number one is not a goal because “rich” is immeasurable. What is rich? $1,000,000? Does that mean $999,999.67 is not rich? You cannot quantify an abstract concept. Richness is abstract.

Number two is quantifiable, but it fails to have a designated time. When Napoleon lost at Waterloo, someone asked him how he lost and the little general responded, “The other general lasted five more minutes on the battlefield.” Football coach Vince Lombardi once said, “We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.” Think about these quotes. Football, hockey, basketball all have time limits. Even baseball, which doesn’t have a clock, has a time frame–nine innings (excluding extra innings). The determination of winning and losing–success and failure–is based upon an outcome within a specific amount of time. Winning is a goal. It is having more points than your adversary by th end of regulation time.

Number three is a goal. It give you a specific number so you can measure your progress along the way and it provides a game clock.

Making Change

Every single thing you do changes the world. You may not see it, but it does. Picture something with me for a moment. You are standing beside a wide, deep, and winding river. You pick up a pebble and toss it into the water. You may not realize it or think it, but you have forever altered that river.  As your stone sinks to the bottom of the river, the water will have to flow around it. Not only are the molecules of water touching the pebble affected, but they equally displace every other molecule. You and your tiny stone have changed the course of the mighty river. More than that, though you cannot see it, you have raised the water level the same way dropping an ice cube into a full glass of water causes it to spill over the lip.

Rosa Parks was a pebble that leapt into the river of segregation. Could anyone have thought that one elderly woman refusing to stand could change an entire society and the lives of hundreds of millions of people for generations to come? Remember, it was not just the lives of African-Americans that changed, but whites, Asians, Hispanics, and every single person living in the United States. perhaps, even some outside the U.S., who looked across the ocean and saw a glimmer of hope for non-Europeans.

The world is a river and you hold an unlimited supply of rocks in varying sizes. Everything you do in this life will cause change. Even an act as simple as going to the grocery store changes the world, because as you do, you are using fuel, which means it must be replenished. So, oil must be drilled, gasoline must be produced, gas stations must hire people to take your payment. Tire companies must produce more tires to replace yours which will eventually wear out. The produce manager must replace the head of lettuce you bought. The farmer must raise and sell another chicken.

Remember: just because you do not see results does not mean they do not exist. If we can return to the example in number two for a moment, the person who says, “What’s the use in trying for that job? I stink at interviewing,” may not get the job, but there are several changes that hve taken place. Foremost, that person has gained more experience at interviewing. If he or she reflects upon what went well and what went poorly, that knowledge will come in handy for the next interview. Eventually, they will do everything right and land the job.

A Comfortable Life

Yes, some people may think they are comfortable, but are they? If you fall in this category, ask yourself–and answer with complete honesty–”Do I have everything I want and need?”

When asked how much money was enough, J Paul Getty–the richest man in the world at the time–said, “Just one dollar more.” Perhaps you attribute that to greed and see it as a negative. Perhaps he was greedy, but the truth is, no one has everything. Let us assume you are comfortable. You make a decent wage. You can cover all your bills. You even squirrel a little aside each month for your retirement. What happens if you take ill? How will you cover the expenses once your savings is drained? Have you gone every place in the world you would like to visit? Have you seen the Mona Lisa or heard the sound of your feet on the walks at Vatican City? And what of those you will leave behind? Will you leave something for your spouse and children? Will your legacy help your grandchildren go to college?

We can be content with our lives, but we are never truly “comfortable.” By that, I mean everyone from the homeless man in the alley to Paris Hilton wants or needs something they do not have. It may be something as basic as breakfast or as invaluable as privacy. If you fall into category three, I encourage you to examine your life. Ask yourself, “If I had a trillion dollars and the vigor of a twenty year old, where would I go? What would I do?” Your answer might be as simple as “I’d spend some time doing nothing but fishing on the river.” Great! You now know you are not “comfortable.” Because in order to spend that time on the river, you must have Time, a boat, and a way of covering your existing expenses. Now, you can set some goals and start working toward them.

How do you define success? Is it defined by the job you have? The title you hold? Or your W-2?

If you answered yes to these questions, I would like to urge you to take a deeper look into the meaning of success.

I do not know who first said it, nor can I remember who said it to me, but I was once told “we spend our entire lives chasing after wealth and our last days wishing we could trade it all in for a longer life.”

Imagine if you had a billion dollars sitting in your bank. As you sit in your dream house looking at your bank balance, you think about that small island you just bought and the trip you took on your private jet to get there.

Now, as you sit there, imagine that you have no family to help with your money. Imagine you have no friends or spouse. No significant other. It is just you and the television. Not only this, but you are so hideously disfigured, that no one will even allow you to approach.

Do you still feel like the incredible success you initially did when you were reviewing your assets?

As we set our goals, we should not just consider how much money we would like to make. We should ponder who we want to be tomorrow. We should ask ourselves where we want to be financially, and also socially, spiritually, romantically, etc. We should strive to live in 3-D.

Our lives should not be straight lines from cradle to grave. Nor should they be simple circles in which we follow the pattern of life. Our lives should be three dimensional, like a great, big, vibrant ball (pun intended).

We should picture ourselves in the twilight of our lives. Who would we like to be at that moment? The favorite grandparent? The faithful spouse? The neighbor who everyone comes to check up on?

Money is great. Everyone should have some, but if you hope to live a life without regret, money should be the least of all your treasures.

This may sound odd or unusual, but here is my basic philosophy on life…

The world is conspiring to make me successful!

I am dead convinced of it. It doesn’t matter if the day is bright and sunny or cold and rainy. The world is acting in my best interest. Even those people who appear to be working against me, throwing up roadblocks, telling tales, and despitefully using me. Every single one of them is conspiring to make me successful.

I have no idea what tomorrow holds. I may have plans for it, I may expect certain things to happen, but that truly means nothing. Today is Sunday, I plan on going to work tomorrow, but if I die tonight, then I am wrong. So, always keep in mind we do not know what tomorrow holds in store.

If we do not know what tomorrow holds, then the problems of today should not matter. After all, the rain that pours in March feeds the flowers growing in April.

When I was younger, I wanted to be a writer. I have been writing fiction and poetry since I was seven years old. I continued all the way through my Master’s degree, which I received in 1999. In 2000, I took a job with a Fortune 100 company. At that time, I lost sight of my writing goals and started focusing on making it big in business. I concentrated all my time and energy on my career. I did well, too. I went to the President’s Club and won numerous awards.

After that, I started feeling empty– like I was missing something. I hadn’t written in a while. Writing was always my stress reliever. So, I started feeling empty and pressured all at the same time. I became dissatisfied with my job. I left and took another one. When I took that job, I was promised Rainbow Stew, but when the waitress came, she slapped down a big bowl of Stone Soup. I soon discovered everything the hiring manager told me about sales figures, market share, etc. was a lie. Now, I was planning on taking a pay cut, but figured I would feel less pressure. When I got in, the pay cut was much larger than anticipated and the stress level was higher than suggested. I stuck it out for a while, but slowly started writing some poetry again.

Then, an offer came for another job. It sounded ideal. When asked about sales levels, success rates, etc. the manager spewed off the numbers of his sales people. Everyone of them except one was above 100%. I took the job and moved my family from Atlanta to Alabama. That was where I wanted to be anyway.

My first week in the job I discovered the team hadn’t hit its objective in over a year. Most everybody was struggling, on a performance improvement plan, and looking for another job. In the 18 months I have been here, I have seen 100% attrition. That is, for every slot available to head count, one person has quit. Not only that, but my sales manager left, his boss was demoted to my level then quit, his boss moved to a different division, and his boss went somewhere else! So–four levels above me have all been replaced!

Do I like the job? It’s okay. I like sales. But what’s important is this– the job has widened the void within me. It made me want to write more. It made me realize that I must have clarity in purpose. I must focus on the goals I want to achieve, and writing is one of them.

At the end of last year, I wrote another novel and began marketing it. I currently have an agent looking at it. In the meantime, I have another 230 pages completed of a second novel and a good many short stories.

From all this seeming chaos, I have found greater inspiration. I have garnered ideas for stories and novels, gained singleness of purpose, and focus.

I have decided that if I am a victim of anything, it is a conspiracy of the world around me to make me successful. All of these things that may have seemed like downturns to others–all these apparent setbacks–have actually been thrusts forward toward my eventual success.

I invite you, friend, to look at the world around you. Determine what you want from life and focus on that. You will soon see that you are not experiencing roadblocks and obstacles. Instead, you are being hemmed in by these things. Just as banks hem in a river and lead it to its ultimate destination, so too, you are being lead to your ultimate success.

The world is conspiring to make us successful!